[ When he responds, Nishikiyama wonders if Mine had even recognized his earlier tone. Funny how with any other person, heโd most definitely want them in their place. With Mine, though, he seems to be leaving room for playful pushback or banter. ]
Donโt just answer me all dry like that.
[ How heโd answered Nishikiyamaโs teasing, without hesitation or taking offense. Mineโs name and congratulations are put in the back of the remaining patriarchsโ heads but, before long, the two yakuza are left to a relatively open space alongside the stragglers whoโd maybe seen similar goals of getting close to their leaders.
Nishikiyama knows the rest of his men are waiting for them. He catches glimpse of Kandaโs bald head when Kazama, of course Kazama, passes Mine and himself another weighted look on his way out. Cane in hand. Face like judgmental stone.
The smirk across from Mine flinches once before regaining its usual burn. ]
Itโs your success too. Celebration seems appropriate enough, but time to myself todayโs a little short. Can you fit it between now and the Nishikiyama Family dinner later on? You didnโt forget.
[ Mine hardly needs to affirm because Nishikiyama already knows he hasnโt forgotten. Itโs all formality, a verbal reminder that heโs a patriarch with matters a patriarch is obligated to attend. ]
[ Nishikiyama's reaction doesn't hide his position and Mine almost recoils to apologize. He's still too used to etiquette, maybe more from his civilian life than from the yakuza, and even with someone close to his own age. He bites back his defense, though. With a sense of the other family members waiting, too, it's a given that he turns around for a moment to look.
Seeing Kazama pass through, Mine's expression doesn't readily change like Nishikiyama's does, but that his stare has found the man is more than obvious. ]
Thank you. I was optimistic things would go well. [ His acceptance of that praise is brief, and probably still more formal than Nishikiyama cares for, but Mine's confidence rings with it. Speeches today would not have been made if not for his influence. Now that there isn't anyone else here, he can claim it. ]
Yes, [ Mine confirms, anyway. ] it won't interfere with tonight.
[ That was his exit for leaving with everyone else and getting his car. An effort at remaining discreet is abandoned, then; he has mountains of money left to spend even after sinking millions of yen into the Nishikiyama Family. This time, and before long, Nishikiyama needn't be the one to start a conversation. Mine turns his head to the passenger side, a pause from watching the straight lanes of the expressway. He tries not to remember a car chase. ]
I'm curious about something. [ Rumors have made their way around but, arrogantly, Mine thinks he would have heard if there was anything close to a decision. ] Are you considering either Shindo-san or Kanda-san for the position of Captain?
[ Mine would find that Nishikiyama had been looking at him too for some reason; he hadn't expected Mine's gaze to lock with his own. There's a delay in response when brown eyes find the windshield once more. Road signs pass them when Mine drives wherever he's decided they'll go kill time. ]
To replace Matsushige? [ โNishikiyama's former captain, right. ] I'm not in a hurry to consider anybody.
[ The truth of it is frank. Nishikiyama props his elbow on an armrest, sinking further back into the shotgun seat. Without looking away from the rolling Tokyo cityscape, he prompts Mine for his thoughts: ]
[ It feels like a continuation of them looking at each other silently across the room and Mine finds himself surprised that Nishikiyama is the one breaking eye contact. He looks at him in side profile a moment long, before returning to looking ahead.
Mine gives a nod that trails off halfway, thinking along with Nishikiyama's belated answer. In essence it's two captains for the price of none, both men trying to make themselves seem suitable for the seat. Only Kanda has approached him a handful of times, but likely just to consolidate his own senior position relative to Mine. Whether he has the financial literacy to handle some of the funds Mine flows into the family is another issue.
With that thought concern pops up around Nishikiyama currently restricting his own spending. Mine's brows stitch together briefly in a frown, but release with the question aimed his way. ]
Not really. [ He hopes it sounds like a diplomatic answer. ] I guess, I was wondering what you're looking for and how you'd make a decision.
[ Kazama had been the one to decide before. Like a fucked up parcel, his former father figure had passed Matsushige down his way, labeled him a "capable" yakuza, and assigned him a title. He'd had to be fucking with him. ]
Decisions like that are based on a patriarch's favoritism. Not too different from the world outside. [ Nishikiyama watches the people in other cars when he answers Mine. ] I'd need someone with their shit together, and strong enough in a fight to hold their own.
[ Loyalty is something else he wants, but he also doesn't believe in it anymore. How can he ask it of anyone else if he can't even offer it himself? Nishikiyama senses what the other is hinting atโ subtle interest perhaps piqued by Mine's past experience in the capitalistic shark pit of struggle. Climbing is a habit. ]
But before you think of how you'll beat them to it, Mine, let me remind you that after a certain incident with the last one, I'm not looking for a captain.
[ He looks at Mine though, voice falling quieter.
His tongue is thick in his own mouth. Nishikiyama swallows, and his eyes move to Mine's thumb on the wheel; the Rolex on his wrist that likely costs more than two times worth of someone's yearly salary. ]
[ It's perfectly the answer Mine wanted and he should have figured that there aren't strict requisites. When Nishikiyama mentions favoritism Mine considers, initially, his own chances. After all, he did ask back for a reason. Still then, he's surprised to have Nishikiyama reach forward on the same idea.
His frown pinches the bridge of his nose, but unlike typically flat affect remaining on his face, his nostrils flare and there's visible tension on his upper lip, in his shoulders too. His thumb straightens against the steering wheel. Warnings aren't something Nishikiyama typically distributes, Mine has learned, and reminding him of Matsushige is nothing less than that, he understands.
But he's more than money, he can do more; won't Nishikiyama want him in that capacity? Letting himself sound petulant in his reply would be too easy. Mine speaks up only after a pause and having swallowed that feeling. ]
Kanda and Shindo don't seem to know that.
[ He stays at that observation but drops honorifics, the conversation having gained intimacy. Mine can sense eyes on him again, he's even placated by the idea that Nishikiyama must be seeing something yet. If not captain, then his explanation had left that openโ ]
What are you looking for? [ Mine wants to be it, he thinks. ]
Of course they wouldn't, because they're idiots. They want to take what they can get.
[ He doesn't hesitate to insult his underlings.
Though the other may feel Nishikiyama gazing at him, Mine's eyes are still fixed on the freeway, perhaps seeing beyond what the blue road signs present. The opportunities, the potential of what could be; still, the patriarch's resistance meets him. Betraying prediction, Nishikiyama finds he's unable to follow Mine's next train of thought. The question catches him off guard. ]
...I'm not looking. Not for anybody.
[ Again.
His fingernails curl against one of the armrests beside him. A point is made clear: Nishikiyama will not actively seek anyone out. He can't bring himself to leave it at that, though. Pupils falling to the gas meter, leveled carefully at the speed limit, Nishikiyama voices one fleeting thought aloud. ]
But maybe that's just a really fucked up way of saying I'd want someone to show me I'm wrong for it.
[ He's said too much. He knows it immediately when the words are left hanging in the air like a sliver of vapor. ]
[ That same statement echoes in his thoughts, he just won't say it out loud. Neither of the two other men have a goal beyond. Unlike himself. Mine already judges them for it.
His gaze flickers to the side, not catching more than a glimpse of Nishikiyama who keeps him in his view. Mine only hears his hesitation, separated from the image out of the corner of his eye. With apprehension he finds that the reply doesn't fit his question. He'd had in mind some title, maybe, other than captain or even a position that doesn't have a name.
Nishikiyama's answer is unambiguous, yet he doesn't understand. Mine's lips part and he sucks in breath through his teeth as if to speak. He's interrupted. After Nishikiyama's confession trails the hum of the motor, other than that a silence stretching further than Mine'd wanted here. His hands squeeze the steering. ]
I am. [ Where the patriarch's eyes have fallen onto the dashboard, Mine finally turns his head. In so many, or so fewer words, that's his aim. Doesn't Nishikiyama look at him? ] I'm trying to show you.
[ Nishikiyama's eyes lift from the meter to Mine's. What he says in that moment confirms what he'd perhaps wanted all along; motives for actions that hadn't made much sense to him otherwise. Since the day they'd met, Mine had yet to slip up. He hadn't with a gun to his head, or even when left unattended behind closed doors. He'd always done what he said he would when he would. He'd always followed up afterward.
If Mine is making efforts to disarm and play Nishikiyama a fool, he's certainly doing a great job at it. What the fresh patriarch had hoped from somebody, anybody since Kiryu, is trapped in the confines of the car just across from him. Nishikiyama's gaze is averted first. It's easier to watch Mine through the rearview mirror.
Why had he known exactly what to say now? He doesn't want to ask him. Nishikiyama doesn't want to deny or fight what's happening, because he might kill it the way he's killed anything good that's happened to him yet. He knows he'll be left by himself, beneath someone's shoe again sooner or later. Whether what Mine's offering him is real or fake: Nishikiyama can't stand being by himself. Not right now. It's a joke to think he'd make it long enough to last Kiryu's entire sentence. Especially to think that things could ever go back to the way they were with what he's done.
Nishikiyama's hand finds Mine's leg when the freeway is straight. He squeezes it without speaking. ]
[ Mine is able to meet his gaze. Money, then with it power, he'd promised, but even through the patriarch's speech he'd been left to wonder if Nishikiyama is satisfied. Mine tries to see it in his eyes now.
He clings to that obstinate desire of his, to only find a way up and further up, the cost of it nothing that he might not be able to pay. In Nishikiyama's promise, though, nights and now months ago, even shrouded in the man's own ambition, Mine remembers himself asking for something scarcely able to be weighed up. Nishikiyama hasn't let anyone else come close to him since.
Restraint has been fractured by his want to be received by someone who has what he doesn't, and it has demanded Mine's answer rather than Nishikiyama did. Mine finds himself being buried alive in the silence when Nishikiyama's look fades and he finds no reply within it. So, even he turns away.
He can't ask what the moment meant and whatever Mine imagines, the thought abandons him under the sudden weight of Nishikiyama's palm. Now he won't let himself look, but he feels the same incisiveness in touch as when Nishikiyama's glance met him across the room. Some sensation rising in his chest, Mine hears himself breathe in sharply. ]
[ Nishikiyama's hand stays there, thumb pressed to the other's thigh. Mine doesn't flinch away from him. He doesn't swat him off, or deny the touch. Without anything other than the soft sound of air sucked back through his throat, Nishikiyama doesn't know what any of it means. Why doesn't he act? Is the inaction simply because it feels out of bounds for Mine to refuse?
The silence is so loud now that it's maddening. What does Mine want? ]
โSay something.
[ How Nishikiyama hates the quiet. His paranoid mind will bury actuality in an instant if Mine allows it. ]
[ Mine's gaze flickers to the tachometer with the needle still pointing at a flat 100 km/h, mistaking an invisible tremor. From the patriarch's hand a sensation spreads out, growing down to his fingertips where they set roots in muscle. Mine recognizes the squeeze from his grasp and in stark contrast numbness webbed in between Nishikiyama's fingers. He feels something, a realization he can't relegate solely to touch.
He's stood himself in front of Nishikiyama posing as somebody capable, as a man he could desire near him, and pointed at his own ambition with desperate clarity. No answer to a question Mine then, even so, doesn't ask. ]
Am I someone you wantโ?
[ Now, Nishikiyama's demand cuts to it and the words spill, unpoised and exposing Mine adrift in his own emotions. He can't see Nishikiyama through the mirror but looks up, eyes to be met without him knowing. He leans his knee to the center console. ]
[ It's a clear enough answer for him, Nishikiyama thinks. A conditional that emphasizes both the reason he'd hesitated just as much as why he hadn't let the others come close to him. Out of everyone else, Mine may know the most about Nishikiyama at this point; he has the most insight into his actions. Even Kazama and Kashiwagi hardly recognize him since Yuko's passing.
Mine's leg slips a little closer. It's tilted somewhat toward him, and Nishikiyama feels like he might choke should any more silence haunt him further. ]
You have to tell me what that means.
[ He'll need to tell Nishikiyama whether he can have him. ]
[ Out of the frame of the rearview mirror Mine's gaze falls back down, through the windshield, no longer soft and searching but boring sharply. Starting today, Nishikiyama can freely say who he wants by his side; why won't he?
Women who'd loved him until Mine said what he wanted, men who's firm handshake quickly turned limp over holding a stack of yenโ why make separate having and wanting, if he's judged for both the same. Mine has observed in Kazama's eyes, looking at Nishikiyama, the same reflection he'd then seen pointed at himself. It's disdain, regret, too. The notion makes his blood boil.
The patriarch's reply would threaten him with the same thing, yet his hand stays. Mine realizes Nishikiyama's restlessness has got under his own skin, clawing up his throat, and that he needs to say something as much as Nishikiyama needs to hear. ]
The truth is, I was really hoping you'd say that you want me close to you.
[ Whether as a yakuza or as a man, Mine's discovered, there's no longer a difference. His leg moves down in a way that lets Nishikiyama's hand stroke his thigh. ]
Hearing this now, that the other man wants him to want himโ that's plenty. Enough for him. Nishikiyama's fingers graze the top of the leg he hasn't let go ofโ Mine's thigh. He hardly sees the road through the windshield anymore. It's all just motion and color. ]
I want you.
[ And it horrifies him. It'd been the truth Nishikiyama had struggled to voice and accept. Saying it so plainly, however, allows some room for relief. A weight has been lifted from him, and Nishikiyama swallows a thick knot that'd been caught in his throat. ]
Take us somewhereโ I don't want this to be in the car.
[ Mine is himself transfixed by his ability to confess so openly, for Nishikiyama allowing him to do so. Wordlessness comes after he has already said it all, but with it anxiety. He shouldn't feel like that, he gathers rationale to think. Mine has wanted to say this almost as much as he wants Nishikiyama to respond, now, shedding diplomatic prologue and careful replies.
He listens to and feels acutely the faint scrape of fingernails atop the fabric of his dress pantsโ Mine's right hand lifts from the wheel and he places it on Nishikiyama's wrist, directed to follow the movement. Even then, he hears his answer the most clearly. Yes, he wants Nishikiyama to want him.
No longer looking at the empty lane ahead, but at the other man in profile, Mine wants him too. Can he say it...? The request dries out his mouth. ]
โWe're almost there.
[ 'This' isn't something he's pictured. There is the suite Mine has reserved, anticipating that Nishikiyama would accept his invitation earlier, more private than a restaurant setting. They'll arrive to a table set for two and the rest of the room open to them. ]
[ From the parking spot to the lobby to now the hallway leading to the suite, Nishikiyama's yet to say anything else. Like a stray cat in an unknown alley, his eyes are simply observing their surroundings. Carefully. Since admitting his desire back in the car, he's more conscious of himself and his actions. He sweeps his own jacket from the side and slips his copy of the room's card key into a designer's wallet he'd purchased. The door spills the well-furnished suite to them with a quiet click. ]
...
[ The patriarch ducks his head lower when he enters, like someone's sidepiece nervous to be caught in a morning tabloid. Once inside, though, he sheds the jacket from his shoulders and hooks it on the coat rack. Nishikiyama's already thinking of what's coming next. Surely Mine understands?
Further into the room and for the first time since their ride over, Nishikiyama faces Mine properly. He's smaller-looking without the padded shoulders of his suit. Still, he retains a prickly atmosphere, but within the intimate space of the suite, he's less bent on keeping up.
Until that door closes, he thinks. Will Mine say something to him first? Will he act first? Who knows. This entire precedent had been sprung out of nowhere.
Nishikiyama's eyes are hard and dark. They dare Mine to act on what they'd said during the drive over. ]
[ Leaving the car, going up to the room, Mine realizes he's only been holding his breath throughout the silence. The hallways don't suggest a cheap purpose, but what else is there at the end of that walkโ Even without spelling it out, by answering Mine's question in the car Nishikiyama hadn't left him to misread his intent. He swears, he keeps finding the phantom touch of Nishikiyama's hand on his knee.
Dim lights and empty drinking glasses are reflected in the domed covers over ready plates, and also Nishikiyama having taken off his coat. Mine's gaze lifts from the distorted, mirror image to the man in actuality. He's more trim like that, Mine observes immediately. The knot already in his stomach tightens, like getting yanked one side.
He looks at Nishikiyama, head inclined but meeting that dark stare. The door shuts softly. The patriarch's eyes spell an expectation and Mine tries not to look like he'd ask again. ]
...
[ Hands reaching to the level of his chest either side, he grabs his jacket at the break line of the lapel. Mine pulls back roped shoulders, revealing that his own stature doesn't change much. Undressing from the top, he slips two fingers beneath his tie and opens the first button on his shirt to loosen it. ]
[ He doesn't like the quiet, and Mine isn't breaking it. ]
No one else is coming in, are they?
[ Nishikiyama doesn't know if there are caterers, hotel workers, or otherwise scheduled to come in and bring them each course of an expensive meal. As he waits for the other's answer to fill the space, he sees Mine's fingers sinking into a tight gap beneath his tie. How strange to see that button undoneโ even in his own home, he'd hardly loosened up in Nishikiyama's presence. ]
We don't have a lot of time.
[ It's only a lunch, he remembers. The amber lighting of the suite makes it easy to forget and think it's night. After their earlier conversation, Nishikiyama finds that he isn't hungry. Not for food. ]
[ Mine hesitates in that, wondering if his answer sounds like he'd predicted this. The truth of it lingers with Nishikiyama's standing within the Tojo Clan and Mine's outside of the yakuza, encountering the overlap in this room. After all he doesn't say, though. Nishikiyama's eyes pin himโ Mine realizes what he noticed.
The other's seen him naked before, but in a different capacity, and at home he hasn't appeared informal either. Mine can feel his own pulse on the side of his neck, where tie and collar have just been unfastened. It quickens, in step with the brevity Nishikiyama infers. He hangs his tie over the same rack as his jacket. Mine pulls the front of his shirt out from the waistband of his pants. The length of it covers the studded belt.
His gaze flickers from looking down on himself over to his patriarch, paces apart. Nishikiyama must've done it quick before, tooโ Won't he actโ? Mine exposes his chest, his toned midriff button by button, until his shirt falls open down his back. The new sujibori of a Kirin covers him. ]
There are all sorts of reasons Mine might not want the additional company of suite staff, but Nishikiyama doesn't question it. With the confirmation comes his effort to undressโ calloused fingers tucking into the knot of his tie and pulling it free with a hiss of fabric. Its silver slides over his shoulders, and after only slipping three buttons or so apart, he pulls his black dress shirt out of his waistband and reels everything up and over his head in a boyish way.
The collar of his shirt teases hair product. It threatens the dark locks Nishikiyama had carefully slicked back earlier that morning. Popping free of his top, far less thoughtfully than Mine, he tosses his clothing on the back of a chair. There's a vividly red koi fish on his backโ one that Mine had only seen in passing during their trip to the bathhouse before. The dips and divots of muscle on him are tense. He's not relaxed, though he's feigning experience. Things are different when one's partner is a woman, he thinks; there's awkwardness now in that Nishikiyama's never acted on an attraction to another man before. He'll pay it no mind. Besides, it's not like Mine will reject him.
Nishikiyama closes the space between them in silence. With a silky bed not too far behind them, Nishikiyama herds Mine further back. He doesn't know where to put his hands at first, but they eventually place themselves on the other man's hips and squeeze. The next bit feels as if it happens slower. Nishikiyama's eyes are shut but his mouth is open when he kisses Mine, and he tastes their preferred brands of differing cigarettes when he has him on his lips. It tastes good; no, it's Mine himself that tastes good.
Nishikiyama ushers him against the edge of the mattress. ]
[ Mine, watching him undress, sees the carp wind itself along the muscles of Nishikiyama's back and shoulders. Although he hadn't looked at it long before, he remembers the motif, contrasting the artwork on some of the other Nishiki Family members, large and bold in bright red. Now more than then he's able to relate the image to the man who wears it. Mine's kirin is pale without color as it rears up his spine.
He leans back, meeting Nishikiyama's approach. The weight of the fabric hanging off his wrists leaves Mine's shirt on the floor, somewhere behind him and opposite of having put his jacket and tie up so neatly. His heel slides on it when he steps over. The want for some purchase is there, but Nishikiyama's fingertips press so firm against his hips that Mine needn't grab at him for it. Still, the same hand that's dared to grab the man's wrist comes to lie flat on Nishikiyama's waist, thumb with the other fingers, as if Mine lets himself because it feels familiar.
In reality, he's the same. He's never done it with a man; if Mine may find pause in the moment, he's anxious about continuing. His eyes are open when Nishikiyama's lips close over his. He feels his bottom lip and the edge of teeth, similarly the flavor of Nishikiyama's cigarettes is just enough to find a difference.
His knees buckle hitting the edge of the bed. Necessarily he sees Nishikiyama bent over him, keeping one of his senses. Mine's mind rushes to the thought that he can't refuse now. Free hand reaching to his belt, he undoes the buckle and the fly front of his trousers. He matches everything, black boxer briefs to his dark shirt. His pulse bounces at his neck. He shuts his eyes tight in front of the other man. Mine presses the kiss back at Nishikiyama, moving his tongue out. ]
[ Nishikiyama's weight sinks into the bed. With one knee sliding onto the mattress, there's little sound other than a rustle of duvet beneath him. He angles himself carefully. With Mine's figure beneath him, Nishikiyama swallows him in his shadow. He leaves his bottoms on for now. This side of Mine is more interesting. His lips nip at the exposed tongue and kiss him again. At the same moment, Nishikiyama's hand slides across Mine's waist and over the lower half of his absโ down his front, where he's neatly tucked within the sheer black fabric of his underwear. Fingertips curl and touch the concealed bulge that's there, subtle but coaxing.
A heat's under his skin when he thinks about what he's doing. Nishikiyama's not sure how far the two of them will go or even if they should, given the limited time they're on. He should have prepared more. Is there even any lotion or lube here?
Nishikiyama settles into a straddle over his thighs. He lifts his head after a few moments of tasting Mine further and sits straighter when he chooses to look down at him properly. The base of his palm rubs along the shaft of Mine's cock through his boxer briefs. He wants him erect. Without saying anything, Nishikiyama watches Mine's face for how he might react. ]
[ With eyes closed, the bed seems to tilt more one side than it actually does. Mine thinks he isn't looking up at Nishikiyama directly, but finds himself still interested in the kiss. Less though, when he's to follow Nishikiyama's touch or, more than that, ultimately where intimacy collects at his fingertips.
Stray or thoughtful, when the patriarch's weight shifts on top and he sits, Mine can't keep his hand on his waist. Nishikiyama's knees squeeze his legs. He finds how the other sits to touch his left thigh. This time with his fingers splayed out, Mine aims to gauge his handspan against thick fabric. He opens his eyes out of their kiss, daunted to see Nishikiyama looking right at him.
Even if he couldn't learn intent from Nishikiyama's gazeโ he canโ then in his hand. Mine doesn't find time to react deliberately. His brows pinch together, as they do often enough that the dent of his frown's always hinted at in his expression, but release quickly. Air forces itself out between parted lips in short burst and makes a hissing sound. He squeezes his grip on Nishikiyama's thigh, too. If Nishikiyama is just going to jerk him offโ Mine's dick pushes against the arc suggested by his palm. Nishikiyama's eyes on him spread the warmth pooling below his belt to his chest, neck and face. ]
[ The cartilage of Mine's throat shifts when he chokes back sound, but Nishikiyama continues watching without speaking. He remains quiet while he strokes him, dark instincts fascinated by the sight of the other man under him and at his mercy. It's a side of himself he'd never known. Nishikiyama's lust has risen, but he doesn't smile. He instead builds a slow and tempting rhythmโ from the root until about halfway up the length that's filled out so far. He spits on the head of his cock and makes it glisten with ministrations of his hand. There's no lotion or at least none conveniently located anyway. If Nishikiyama's determined, he'll have to check the bathroom.
He's less confident than he'd like to be about all of it; he's nervous Mine will be able to tell. At least, though, Nishikiyama can do more than simply lay and be had. That's Mine's predicament at the moment, as someone who'd boldly declared his loyalty. Without realizing it, he'd permitted Nishikiyama to act on his baser impulses and submit to him.
Nishikiyama's fingertips tease the wet glans. His thumb presses into the center of it, applying some pressure before relieving it. He lets his earlier saliva cling to the skin in a thin, sticky string.
โ Nishikiyama tries his best to look bored, but he fails. He's aroused. ]
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no subject
Donโt just answer me all dry like that.
[ How heโd answered Nishikiyamaโs teasing, without hesitation or taking offense. Mineโs name and congratulations are put in the back of the remaining patriarchsโ heads but, before long, the two yakuza are left to a relatively open space alongside the stragglers whoโd maybe seen similar goals of getting close to their leaders.
Nishikiyama knows the rest of his men are waiting for them. He catches glimpse of Kandaโs bald head when Kazama, of course Kazama, passes Mine and himself another weighted look on his way out. Cane in hand. Face like judgmental stone.
The smirk across from Mine flinches once before regaining its usual burn. ]
Itโs your success too. Celebration seems appropriate enough, but time to myself todayโs a little short. Can you fit it between now and the Nishikiyama Family dinner later on? You didnโt forget.
[ Mine hardly needs to affirm because Nishikiyama already knows he hasnโt forgotten. Itโs all formality, a verbal reminder that heโs a patriarch with matters a patriarch is obligated to attend. ]
no subject
Seeing Kazama pass through, Mine's expression doesn't readily change like Nishikiyama's does, but that his stare has found the man is more than obvious. ]
Thank you. I was optimistic things would go well. [ His acceptance of that praise is brief, and probably still more formal than Nishikiyama cares for, but Mine's confidence rings with it. Speeches today would not have been made if not for his influence. Now that there isn't anyone else here, he can claim it. ]
Yes, [ Mine confirms, anyway. ] it won't interfere with tonight.
[ That was his exit for leaving with everyone else and getting his car. An effort at remaining discreet is abandoned, then; he has mountains of money left to spend even after sinking millions of yen into the Nishikiyama Family. This time, and before long, Nishikiyama needn't be the one to start a conversation. Mine turns his head to the passenger side, a pause from watching the straight lanes of the expressway. He tries not to remember a car chase. ]
I'm curious about something. [ Rumors have made their way around but, arrogantly, Mine thinks he would have heard if there was anything close to a decision. ] Are you considering either Shindo-san or Kanda-san for the position of Captain?
no subject
To replace Matsushige? [ โNishikiyama's former captain, right. ] I'm not in a hurry to consider anybody.
[ The truth of it is frank. Nishikiyama props his elbow on an armrest, sinking further back into the shotgun seat. Without looking away from the rolling Tokyo cityscape, he prompts Mine for his thoughts: ]
Do you already have an opinion on it?
no subject
Mine gives a nod that trails off halfway, thinking along with Nishikiyama's belated answer. In essence it's two captains for the price of none, both men trying to make themselves seem suitable for the seat. Only Kanda has approached him a handful of times, but likely just to consolidate his own senior position relative to Mine. Whether he has the financial literacy to handle some of the funds Mine flows into the family is another issue.
With that thought concern pops up around Nishikiyama currently restricting his own spending. Mine's brows stitch together briefly in a frown, but release with the question aimed his way. ]
Not really. [ He hopes it sounds like a diplomatic answer. ] I guess, I was wondering what you're looking for and how you'd make a decision.
no subject
[ Kazama had been the one to decide before. Like a fucked up parcel, his former father figure had passed Matsushige down his way, labeled him a "capable" yakuza, and assigned him a title. He'd had to be fucking with him. ]
Decisions like that are based on a patriarch's favoritism. Not too different from the world outside. [ Nishikiyama watches the people in other cars when he answers Mine. ] I'd need someone with their shit together, and strong enough in a fight to hold their own.
[ Loyalty is something else he wants, but he also doesn't believe in it anymore. How can he ask it of anyone else if he can't even offer it himself? Nishikiyama senses what the other is hinting atโ subtle interest perhaps piqued by Mine's past experience in the capitalistic shark pit of struggle. Climbing is a habit. ]
But before you think of how you'll beat them to it, Mine, let me remind you that after a certain incident with the last one, I'm not looking for a captain.
[ He looks at Mine though, voice falling quieter.
His tongue is thick in his own mouth. Nishikiyama swallows, and his eyes move to Mine's thumb on the wheel; the Rolex on his wrist that likely costs more than two times worth of someone's yearly salary. ]
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His frown pinches the bridge of his nose, but unlike typically flat affect remaining on his face, his nostrils flare and there's visible tension on his upper lip, in his shoulders too. His thumb straightens against the steering wheel. Warnings aren't something Nishikiyama typically distributes, Mine has learned, and reminding him of Matsushige is nothing less than that, he understands.
But he's more than money, he can do more; won't Nishikiyama want him in that capacity? Letting himself sound petulant in his reply would be too easy. Mine speaks up only after a pause and having swallowed that feeling. ]
Kanda and Shindo don't seem to know that.
[ He stays at that observation but drops honorifics, the conversation having gained intimacy. Mine can sense eyes on him again, he's even placated by the idea that Nishikiyama must be seeing something yet. If not captain, then his explanation had left that openโ ]
What are you looking for? [ Mine wants to be it, he thinks. ]
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[ He doesn't hesitate to insult his underlings.
Though the other may feel Nishikiyama gazing at him, Mine's eyes are still fixed on the freeway, perhaps seeing beyond what the blue road signs present. The opportunities, the potential of what could be; still, the patriarch's resistance meets him. Betraying prediction, Nishikiyama finds he's unable to follow Mine's next train of thought. The question catches him off guard. ]
...I'm not looking. Not for anybody.
[ Again.
His fingernails curl against one of the armrests beside him. A point is made clear: Nishikiyama will not actively seek anyone out. He can't bring himself to leave it at that, though. Pupils falling to the gas meter, leveled carefully at the speed limit, Nishikiyama voices one fleeting thought aloud. ]
But maybe that's just a really fucked up way of saying I'd want someone to show me I'm wrong for it.
[ He's said too much. He knows it immediately when the words are left hanging in the air like a sliver of vapor. ]
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His gaze flickers to the side, not catching more than a glimpse of Nishikiyama who keeps him in his view. Mine only hears his hesitation, separated from the image out of the corner of his eye. With apprehension he finds that the reply doesn't fit his question. He'd had in mind some title, maybe, other than captain or even a position that doesn't have a name.
Nishikiyama's answer is unambiguous, yet he doesn't understand. Mine's lips part and he sucks in breath through his teeth as if to speak. He's interrupted. After Nishikiyama's confession trails the hum of the motor, other than that a silence stretching further than Mine'd wanted here. His hands squeeze the steering. ]
I am. [ Where the patriarch's eyes have fallen onto the dashboard, Mine finally turns his head. In so many, or so fewer words, that's his aim. Doesn't Nishikiyama look at him? ] I'm trying to show you.
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If Mine is making efforts to disarm and play Nishikiyama a fool, he's certainly doing a great job at it. What the fresh patriarch had hoped from somebody, anybody since Kiryu, is trapped in the confines of the car just across from him. Nishikiyama's gaze is averted first. It's easier to watch Mine through the rearview mirror.
Why had he known exactly what to say now? He doesn't want to ask him. Nishikiyama doesn't want to deny or fight what's happening, because he might kill it the way he's killed anything good that's happened to him yet. He knows he'll be left by himself, beneath someone's shoe again sooner or later. Whether what Mine's offering him is real or fake: Nishikiyama can't stand being by himself. Not right now. It's a joke to think he'd make it long enough to last Kiryu's entire sentence. Especially to think that things could ever go back to the way they were with what he's done.
Nishikiyama's hand finds Mine's leg when the freeway is straight. He squeezes it without speaking. ]
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He clings to that obstinate desire of his, to only find a way up and further up, the cost of it nothing that he might not be able to pay. In Nishikiyama's promise, though, nights and now months ago, even shrouded in the man's own ambition, Mine remembers himself asking for something scarcely able to be weighed up. Nishikiyama hasn't let anyone else come close to him since.
Restraint has been fractured by his want to be received by someone who has what he doesn't, and it has demanded Mine's answer rather than Nishikiyama did. Mine finds himself being buried alive in the silence when Nishikiyama's look fades and he finds no reply within it. So, even he turns away.
He can't ask what the moment meant and whatever Mine imagines, the thought abandons him under the sudden weight of Nishikiyama's palm. Now he won't let himself look, but he feels the same incisiveness in touch as when Nishikiyama's glance met him across the room. Some sensation rising in his chest, Mine hears himself breathe in sharply. ]
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The silence is so loud now that it's maddening. What does Mine want? ]
โSay something.
[ How Nishikiyama hates the quiet. His paranoid mind will bury actuality in an instant if Mine allows it. ]
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He's stood himself in front of Nishikiyama posing as somebody capable, as a man he could desire near him, and pointed at his own ambition with desperate clarity. No answer to a question Mine then, even so, doesn't ask. ]
Am I someone you wantโ?
[ Now, Nishikiyama's demand cuts to it and the words spill, unpoised and exposing Mine adrift in his own emotions. He can't see Nishikiyama through the mirror but looks up, eyes to be met without him knowing. He leans his knee to the center console. ]
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[ It's a clear enough answer for him, Nishikiyama thinks. A conditional that emphasizes both the reason he'd hesitated just as much as why he hadn't let the others come close to him. Out of everyone else, Mine may know the most about Nishikiyama at this point; he has the most insight into his actions. Even Kazama and Kashiwagi hardly recognize him since Yuko's passing.
Mine's leg slips a little closer. It's tilted somewhat toward him, and Nishikiyama feels like he might choke should any more silence haunt him further. ]
You have to tell me what that means.
[ He'll need to tell Nishikiyama whether he can have him. ]
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Women who'd loved him until Mine said what he wanted, men who's firm handshake quickly turned limp over holding a stack of yenโ why make separate having and wanting, if he's judged for both the same. Mine has observed in Kazama's eyes, looking at Nishikiyama, the same reflection he'd then seen pointed at himself. It's disdain, regret, too. The notion makes his blood boil.
The patriarch's reply would threaten him with the same thing, yet his hand stays. Mine realizes Nishikiyama's restlessness has got under his own skin, clawing up his throat, and that he needs to say something as much as Nishikiyama needs to hear. ]
The truth is, I was really hoping you'd say that you want me close to you.
[ Whether as a yakuza or as a man, Mine's discovered, there's no longer a difference. His leg moves down in a way that lets Nishikiyama's hand stroke his thigh. ]
...In other words, you can have me.
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Hearing this now, that the other man wants him to want himโ that's plenty. Enough for him. Nishikiyama's fingers graze the top of the leg he hasn't let go ofโ Mine's thigh. He hardly sees the road through the windshield anymore. It's all just motion and color. ]
I want you.
[ And it horrifies him. It'd been the truth Nishikiyama had struggled to voice and accept. Saying it so plainly, however, allows some room for relief. A weight has been lifted from him, and Nishikiyama swallows a thick knot that'd been caught in his throat. ]
Take us somewhereโ I don't want this to be in the car.
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He listens to and feels acutely the faint scrape of fingernails atop the fabric of his dress pantsโ Mine's right hand lifts from the wheel and he places it on Nishikiyama's wrist, directed to follow the movement. Even then, he hears his answer the most clearly. Yes, he wants Nishikiyama to want him.
No longer looking at the empty lane ahead, but at the other man in profile, Mine wants him too. Can he say it...? The request dries out his mouth. ]
โWe're almost there.
[ 'This' isn't something he's pictured. There is the suite Mine has reserved, anticipating that Nishikiyama would accept his invitation earlier, more private than a restaurant setting. They'll arrive to a table set for two and the rest of the room open to them. ]
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...
[ The patriarch ducks his head lower when he enters, like someone's sidepiece nervous to be caught in a morning tabloid. Once inside, though, he sheds the jacket from his shoulders and hooks it on the coat rack. Nishikiyama's already thinking of what's coming next. Surely Mine understands?
Further into the room and for the first time since their ride over, Nishikiyama faces Mine properly. He's smaller-looking without the padded shoulders of his suit. Still, he retains a prickly atmosphere, but within the intimate space of the suite, he's less bent on keeping up.
Until that door closes, he thinks. Will Mine say something to him first? Will he act first? Who knows. This entire precedent had been sprung out of nowhere.
Nishikiyama's eyes are hard and dark. They dare Mine to act on what they'd said during the drive over. ]
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Dim lights and empty drinking glasses are reflected in the domed covers over ready plates, and also Nishikiyama having taken off his coat. Mine's gaze lifts from the distorted, mirror image to the man in actuality. He's more trim like that, Mine observes immediately. The knot already in his stomach tightens, like getting yanked one side.
He looks at Nishikiyama, head inclined but meeting that dark stare. The door shuts softly. The patriarch's eyes spell an expectation and Mine tries not to look like he'd ask again. ]
...
[ Hands reaching to the level of his chest either side, he grabs his jacket at the break line of the lapel. Mine pulls back roped shoulders, revealing that his own stature doesn't change much. Undressing from the top, he slips two fingers beneath his tie and opens the first button on his shirt to loosen it. ]
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No one else is coming in, are they?
[ Nishikiyama doesn't know if there are caterers, hotel workers, or otherwise scheduled to come in and bring them each course of an expensive meal. As he waits for the other's answer to fill the space, he sees Mine's fingers sinking into a tight gap beneath his tie. How strange to see that button undoneโ even in his own home, he'd hardly loosened up in Nishikiyama's presence. ]
We don't have a lot of time.
[ It's only a lunch, he remembers. The amber lighting of the suite makes it easy to forget and think it's night. After their earlier conversation, Nishikiyama finds that he isn't hungry. Not for food. ]
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[ Mine hesitates in that, wondering if his answer sounds like he'd predicted this. The truth of it lingers with Nishikiyama's standing within the Tojo Clan and Mine's outside of the yakuza, encountering the overlap in this room. After all he doesn't say, though. Nishikiyama's eyes pin himโ Mine realizes what he noticed.
The other's seen him naked before, but in a different capacity, and at home he hasn't appeared informal either. Mine can feel his own pulse on the side of his neck, where tie and collar have just been unfastened. It quickens, in step with the brevity Nishikiyama infers. He hangs his tie over the same rack as his jacket. Mine pulls the front of his shirt out from the waistband of his pants. The length of it covers the studded belt.
His gaze flickers from looking down on himself over to his patriarch, paces apart. Nishikiyama must've done it quick before, tooโ Won't he actโ? Mine exposes his chest, his toned midriff button by button, until his shirt falls open down his back. The new sujibori of a Kirin covers him. ]
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There are all sorts of reasons Mine might not want the additional company of suite staff, but Nishikiyama doesn't question it. With the confirmation comes his effort to undressโ calloused fingers tucking into the knot of his tie and pulling it free with a hiss of fabric. Its silver slides over his shoulders, and after only slipping three buttons or so apart, he pulls his black dress shirt out of his waistband and reels everything up and over his head in a boyish way.
The collar of his shirt teases hair product. It threatens the dark locks Nishikiyama had carefully slicked back earlier that morning. Popping free of his top, far less thoughtfully than Mine, he tosses his clothing on the back of a chair. There's a vividly red koi fish on his backโ one that Mine had only seen in passing during their trip to the bathhouse before. The dips and divots of muscle on him are tense. He's not relaxed, though he's feigning experience. Things are different when one's partner is a woman, he thinks; there's awkwardness now in that Nishikiyama's never acted on an attraction to another man before. He'll pay it no mind. Besides, it's not like Mine will reject him.
Nishikiyama closes the space between them in silence. With a silky bed not too far behind them, Nishikiyama herds Mine further back. He doesn't know where to put his hands at first, but they eventually place themselves on the other man's hips and squeeze. The next bit feels as if it happens slower. Nishikiyama's eyes are shut but his mouth is open when he kisses Mine, and he tastes their preferred brands of differing cigarettes when he has him on his lips. It tastes good; no, it's Mine himself that tastes good.
Nishikiyama ushers him against the edge of the mattress. ]
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He leans back, meeting Nishikiyama's approach. The weight of the fabric hanging off his wrists leaves Mine's shirt on the floor, somewhere behind him and opposite of having put his jacket and tie up so neatly. His heel slides on it when he steps over. The want for some purchase is there, but Nishikiyama's fingertips press so firm against his hips that Mine needn't grab at him for it. Still, the same hand that's dared to grab the man's wrist comes to lie flat on Nishikiyama's waist, thumb with the other fingers, as if Mine lets himself because it feels familiar.
In reality, he's the same. He's never done it with a man; if Mine may find pause in the moment, he's anxious about continuing. His eyes are open when Nishikiyama's lips close over his. He feels his bottom lip and the edge of teeth, similarly the flavor of Nishikiyama's cigarettes is just enough to find a difference.
His knees buckle hitting the edge of the bed. Necessarily he sees Nishikiyama bent over him, keeping one of his senses. Mine's mind rushes to the thought that he can't refuse now. Free hand reaching to his belt, he undoes the buckle and the fly front of his trousers. He matches everything, black boxer briefs to his dark shirt. His pulse bounces at his neck. He shuts his eyes tight in front of the other man. Mine presses the kiss back at Nishikiyama, moving his tongue out. ]
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A heat's under his skin when he thinks about what he's doing. Nishikiyama's not sure how far the two of them will go or even if they should, given the limited time they're on. He should have prepared more. Is there even any lotion or lube here?
Nishikiyama settles into a straddle over his thighs. He lifts his head after a few moments of tasting Mine further and sits straighter when he chooses to look down at him properly. The base of his palm rubs along the shaft of Mine's cock through his boxer briefs. He wants him erect. Without saying anything, Nishikiyama watches Mine's face for how he might react. ]
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Stray or thoughtful, when the patriarch's weight shifts on top and he sits, Mine can't keep his hand on his waist. Nishikiyama's knees squeeze his legs. He finds how the other sits to touch his left thigh. This time with his fingers splayed out, Mine aims to gauge his handspan against thick fabric. He opens his eyes out of their kiss, daunted to see Nishikiyama looking right at him.
Even if he couldn't learn intent from Nishikiyama's gazeโ he canโ then in his hand. Mine doesn't find time to react deliberately. His brows pinch together, as they do often enough that the dent of his frown's always hinted at in his expression, but release quickly. Air forces itself out between parted lips in short burst and makes a hissing sound. He squeezes his grip on Nishikiyama's thigh, too. If Nishikiyama is just going to jerk him offโ Mine's dick pushes against the arc suggested by his palm. Nishikiyama's eyes on him spread the warmth pooling below his belt to his chest, neck and face. ]
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He's less confident than he'd like to be about all of it; he's nervous Mine will be able to tell. At least, though, Nishikiyama can do more than simply lay and be had. That's Mine's predicament at the moment, as someone who'd boldly declared his loyalty. Without realizing it, he'd permitted Nishikiyama to act on his baser impulses and submit to him.
Nishikiyama's fingertips tease the wet glans. His thumb presses into the center of it, applying some pressure before relieving it. He lets his earlier saliva cling to the skin in a thin, sticky string.
โ Nishikiyama tries his best to look bored, but he fails. He's aroused. ]
This how you always are?
[ He tries provoking Mine beneath him. ]
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